The Link... 2 (Coming Clean)

 The Link... 2

(Coming Clean)

(Written by Joy A. Adewumi)

My legs gave way beneath me and I sank to the seat behind me as I heard the loud bang of Mabel's door a few short metres away.

I didn't know what to think. I wasn't even sure there was anything to think.

Yes, I did see an unpalatable scene on Mabel's phone screen that looked very provocative and naughty, but she could be right.

It could have been a scene she didn't foresee and was going to fast-forward. But her defensiveness, how could I explain that?

Okay, I knew I'd been thinking something was off since a week, that fact coupled with the scenario I stumbled across some nights back definitely must have put my suspicions on edge.

I did look like I was accusing her too by the way. She probably took offence at my insinuation and got on the defensive.

I probably would have done that too in her shoes... Or not?

As I returned to my laundry, my mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and as much as I tried to justify Mabel's reactions, it just wasn't working.

My thoughts just kept straying back to all of her weird actions and dispositions recently.

Oh! There was also the fact that recently she'd been avoiding our prayer sessions as much as possible.

Arrrgggh! I groaned.

Ayo stop it! It's all in your head. If you're so worried about her, then pray for her!

I was chastised.

That thought was right. I'd been worried and- if I was being sincere- suspicious too of Mabel's actions and reactions. Thinking all sort of impossible, or may be not-so-impossible stuff, but I didn't think to raise her up in prayers to God!

So much for being worried.

With a sigh, as I rinsed off the last of the clothes, I began praying.

Praying that my suspicions were not true and that whatever was off with Mabel, if there was anything off, should be dealt with by the Spirit of God.

I also prayed that if my suspicions were true- I just couldn't help it- that God should send help from above. Give her grace to own up and seek help from the right quarters.

Needless to say Friday night was ruined and I struggled almost throughout the movie I saw, whether or not to go and apologize for my actions.

Or better still, my suspicions.

After what seemed like an eternity of turning and tossing on my bed, arguing and struggling with myself, I jumped off my bed ready to go apologize.

As I got to the door, it opened before I laid my hand on its handle and revealed a weary-looking Mabel on the other side.

'Sorry! Looks like you-'

'Oh! I was just coming -'

Both of us started speaking at the same time. And stopped.

Then with a sigh, as I moved aside to let her in, I said,

'I'm sorry Mabs. I was way out of line. I shouldn't have implied what I did.'

A ghost of a mirthless smile danced on her twitching lips, and she replied as she sat on my bed with a sigh,

'You've always being discerning. So, between that and all that experience you have working with teenagers, I can't say I blame you.'

'Still-' I began saying, feeling even worse for how easily she let me off the hook, but she interrupted me.

'Besides, you weren't out of line.'

'What?' I asked, not quite getting her at first but then understanding dawned on me and my eyes widened in shocked. Mabel continued.

'Not in the least. I'm done for A.Y. I'm hooked.'

An ache developed in my chest and balled into something increasingly painful by the second.

I had my suspicions quite alright, but I just wasn't prepared to find out that I was right after all.

'What... Ha- How did it happen?' I stuttered as I closed my eyes and shook my head, as though I was trying to shake off the reality of the situation. Or better still, get a grip on it.

Tears had formed a shiny sheen in Mabel's eyes by the time I opened my eyes.

'It started last Friday after you left for the Singles retreat and I got home. I got a link from someone. It apparently was a mistake since it read,

''Dude, na the link be this oo.''

'I know this is crazy but I opened the link and chanced on the most provocative and naughtiest sexual scene I'd ever seen. I never even imagined that something that heavy could be caught on film.

'I was repulsed. Totally repulsed, A.Y. I didn't even expect it of the sender- wrong receiver or not!

'I was going to close the tab and erase the fact that such a thing was ever opened on my phone.

'But then, my curiosity flared.
I couldn't help but wonder, how something so repulsive could be so enjoyable for some people to the extent of an addiction and I watched on.'

I took in a sharp breath and she smiled dryly,

'Yea, I know, I know. Stupid, right? Worst decision of my life thus far!'

'Within few short minutes of watching, something changed. Repulsion turned to arousal.' Mabel covered her face with her palms and bent her head as her voice shook.

'There was a stirring in me and I didn't want to stop watching the clip anymore.'

I was shaking my head in awe. I couldn't wrap my head around Mabel's narrative.
Okay, maybe I could. I certainly would have, had it been someone else's. Someone I was counselling, maybe, but this was Mabs for Pete's sake!

That sounded like overestimation, right? I know! But still!

She continued after a few tears leaked through the corners of her eyes and streamed down her cheeks, and she drew in a shaky breath.

'But I did leave the page. I left the page with disgust at my own reaction. I was mad at myself. I deleted the history and jumped up to do other stuff whilst I berated myself.

"What was wrong with me? What was I thinking? How could I have been aroused?"

'It was all futile though, because thirty minutes later, I went back and reopened that link.

'The seed had been planted and instead of going down to request pardon and purging for my defiled eyes and mind and root out the seed, I was merely berating myself.

'After I watched that, I saw other suggestions. So I watched another, and another..."

She was seriously crying now and my heart broke as my head ached.
At the same time, I tried to take in the enormity of the situation before me.

I moved closer to hug her, but she scooted away as her tears subsided and she wiped the back of her palm across her face.

'A.Y, I feel dirty and disgusting enough telling this to another soul. I garnered all the courage in my being to come clean about this. I can't have you feeling sorry for me. This is no time for hugs.

'I mean, look at me! I'm supposed to be a minister of the Gospel and an ambassador of sexual purity for crying out loud! It's completely unheard of!' Mabel lamented.

My brows furrowed and I looked around. I felt way out of my depth.

I definitely didn't think to consider what I'd do if my suspicions were right.

What could I do...but pray?

'Mabs! We'll get through this!' I said as I jumped off my reading chair.

'We'll pray and-'

Mabel's loud ring of mirthless laughter stopped me in the track of both my thoughts and my words.

She went on at it for a few more seconds and then turned to me.

'Any more prayers from this filthy and unrepentant mouth of mine and I'll really be asking for a beating.'

What was she saying?!

'Since that day, do you know how many times I've given in and then after reaching the height of the throes of pleasure, and the cold water of normality is dunked over my head and I feel as low as dung, I go back crawling to the cross over and over?

'Feeling so remorseful and so sure and determined that there was no way I was going to watch another x-rated video in my life.
But each single time, A.Y, each time the tempter returns. I give in.'

'And make no mistake, it's not for the absence of grace. I always felt the presence of Grace each time and I knew if I could just hold onto my determination, the hour will pass and I will win, but each time, A.Y, my will fails and I lose the battle.'

'A.Y, will I ever stop? I know it's just being a week, but I don't think I can stop. I've failed every single time, I don't think I'll ever win or keep winning.'

I shook my head vigorously and dragged my chair to face Mabel, positioning myself directly opposite her.

'Mabs, that's not your voice. Those are not your words. Don't you hear them?

'Don't those sound like the same words you've heard hunderds of teenagers and young adults tell you? And what did you say to them? Mabs? Answer me!'

She let out a teary, shaky scoff and replied,

'A.Y, it's so easy to say because you don't know how difficult this is. I probably wouldn't have been so confident if I had the slightest idea how difficult it was for those counselees. You have no idea-'

I shook my head and held out an index finger, interrupting her word.

'No, wrong answer, Mabs!
You tell them each single time that nothing, not even an addiction can withstand the power of God to save, to heal and to deliver.

'You said it not because you had no idea how hard it was for them- though you didn't, but because you believed strongly in the power of God to save, to heal and to deliver. Period.'

Mabel opened her mouth to say something, but I beat her to it and continued,

'And before you tell me again that I have no idea how hard it is, let me remind you that you had no idea back then either, but you led those counselees to victory!

'You did that by reason of the saving grace and power of the cross. That was all that mattered and despite their protests, that was what you always told them and this time is no different.

'Whether it's the average person, or the counsellor- the power of God remains the same and just as potent as ever!'

At this point, Mabel ran frantic fingers through her twists and fell back on my bed.

'I told my unit leaders in the church that I'd be stepping down for personal reasons.
If I can't win against this demon, I can at least choose honesty over hypocrisy.'

'Mabs,' I called as I stood up, took both her hands in mine and pulled her to her feet.

'You do remember what the Bible said in Micah 7:8, don't you?

"Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me."

'Mabs, the thief comes not but to steal, to kill and to destroy, but Christ said He has come that we might have life and have it more abundantly.

'For a moment there, you let down your guard and the devil, who has been looking to smite the shepherd, so that the flock kept in her care would scatter got you, but that is not your end. Not even close.'

As I spoke, tears streamed down Mabel's face, but I could see the resolve building in her eyes. Now, this was the Mabs I knew!

'The devil has been after your life and ministry, and this time he came through the unlikeliest means.

'After all, what are the odds that a sexual purity counsellor would fall hard into the sin of pornography after just one unintended view! Slim, right?

'But what seems like happenstance to you, is actually a carefully plotted conspiracy against your soul, that he had probably been cooking up for years.

'Now, not only does he think he has won, he's taking the opportunity of your frustration and disappointment to  plunge you into unbelief!

'You, who have ministered salvation and healing to many who were even more addicted, now think you can never be free!
That's just cheap brainwashing from the pit of hell!

'Of course you will be free, Mabs! Overcoming an addiction or a near-addiction is no joke, but you have everything you need to get through this and be better for it!'

Then I let go of her left hand, as I ticked off points on the tip of my right fingers.

'You have the word of God and a proper understanding of it.
You aren't ignorant of the wiles of the devil either, and I know you are beginning to see that he's having a field day playing and messing with your life.

'Also you have forgiveness at the cross! And grace to get through this, with Christ going with you each step of the way. Think about that! What could be more?

'And there's me! I'm not going nowhere! I have always been your prayer and accountability partner and will continue to be!

'Sweets! The devil messed with the wrong girl!'

Tears and sobs poured out of Mabs as she sunk to her knees, ready to cry to heaven and I joined her.

'In fact Mabs,' I added,
'I'll have you know you've already begun winning this battle, because you didn't give into the suggestion of the devil to seat back in your room, pretending all is good and fine.

'Sin thrives in secrecy and darkness, but this one has been exposed to the scorching light of righteousness and this is the end if it.

'We will get through this together, okay?'

'Okay." She replied as she lifted her teary face and nodded her head firmly.

I might have been clueless for some seconds there because as suspicious as I was, I had no idea this would happen.

But thank God for the revealing Spirit of God.
I didn't care if it was my last mission on
earth.

This was after all my calling: To help pull out as many as the devil had kept under the bondage of sexual immorality and other addictive vices; and show them the love of Christ.

The devil wasn't going to add Mabel's life and ministry to the growing list of God's Firebrands he had brought down over the years.

Not if I had a say as a daughter of the Kingdom! Not under my watch.

By reason of the anointing of God upon my life, this particular yoke would be broken!

The battle line had been drawn!

********************

Dear Reader,

I know you don't want to hear this, but I just had to cut the part, it was getting too long...
You don't mind waiting a bit for the next part do you?

So... To be continued...

In the meanwhile, I want you to know this is no mere story. This is God's tool in ministering salvation and deliverance to as many as have been yoked to sin and addiction by the devil.

Here is the word of the Lord for you:

'For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works the devil.' I John 3:8b

'If the Son therefore shall make you free, you shall be free indeed!' John 8:36

Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life.

And ye shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall set you free!

Jesus is your ticket to salvation and deliverance. Believe on Him today,  come to Him in repentance from all your wrongs and YOU shall be FREE!
He's waiting for you!

So whether, you're directly concerned or you're a concerned reader, I implore you to share this story with as many of your contacts and loved ones as you can and care for!

Till the next episode lands, the grace of God be with you all. Amen.

Spirit Pen