Just Talk!

Just Talk!

(Written by Joy A. Adewumi)

It was the tenth time Amaka was sighing that evening. No, I wasn't counting, it just felt like it.

Of course, I probably was the only who noticed, not because I was the most observant, but because somehow, every other person was somehow glued to her phone and occupied.

It was unusual to see Amaka out in the living room with the rest of the occupants of our three bedroom flat, but I guess even the most introverted people have to get out of their shell at some time during this lockdown period.

Amaka is the sort of lady who leaves for a run while some of us are just rousing from sleep and still manages to leave for work before any other person in the flat.

When she returns from work, she simply makes the cursory greetings and disappear into her room, for the day.

She's that girl you live with but don't really know, she's in fact, an amazing case study of introversion.

These days however, as expected of anyone who hopes to keep sane, even the most introverted person, she's been coming out more, and we are finally getting to peer into the life of this mystery called Amaka.

However, today as I stared at her, while she swiped busily across her phone screen, I wondered what was so wrong.

From what I could see, the girl was actually sighing absentmindedly, and I knew it was only a matter of time before someone else noticed and got irritated.

So, I moved to her side on the two-seater where she sat alone.

'Hey!' I whispered.

She jerked up her head and turned to me with widened eyes and I knew I was right. She was not only absentmindedly sighing, she was completely absentminded.

So, I pushed further,

'What's wrong, you've been sighing all evening, are you fine?'

Another sigh, deeper than the rest. Then she pursed her lips a bit, then looked at me, then back at her phone, as if she was contemplating whether or not to talk to me.

I hoped she did, but I wasn't going to push verbally. I just hoped the Holy Spirit convinced her to bare her mind.

After what seemed like eons, which I was determined to wait for, since she hadn't expressly told me to leave her alone, she spoke.

'Aje, I am losing my mind.'

My eyebrows furrowed reflexively, I wasn't sure I understood her, and I pleaded with the Holy Spirit to help me be his mouthpiece here.

I didn't say anything, but I'm sure she saw the confusion on my face, so she continued,

'This lockdown, it's killing me slowly. It's not for my personality. I thought when this all began that, well, lockdown with social distancing is my normal speed anyway, this ought to be easy, but there's nothing easy about it!

'It's been over three weeks and I feel like I'm been choked. It's nice of you ladies to allow me into your circle after acting like a stranger for months since I moved I'm here, but there's only an extent to which you can excel at something when you need it most, if you never practiced it before then.

'Right now, my own room feels like a prison to me, and the fact that I don't even have close friends to chat with everyday is maddening. Right now, I'm wishing I never thought those stuff were overrated.

'Running around the house and down the street is good, but it's nothing like feeling the cool that comes with a brand new day, on the ever busy roads of Lagos.

'The air, the sounds of commerce and busyness, they are my world. They keep me sane and whole, but right now, I can't access them and I'm running crazy. My nights are restive because my days are idle and restful.

'I thrive on work and exhaustion, but now I'm just by myself and unable to connect with neither what I'm familiar with nor what I'm unfamiliar with. I just tire!'

I felt so bad for Amaka. Her eyes looked tire and weary and her whole form slumped! I was not an introvert. I could be reserved and refined if I needed to, but I was no introvert, so, as Amaka spoke, I was just praying for some direction from the Holy Spirit.

How do you advise someone on something you couldn't relate to?

The Holy Spirit did not leave me hanging, He never did, but I wasn't sure how Amaka would take it, if I smiled at that point, so I settled for reaching for her hands, then not sure how she would take it, I retracted my hands, but she reached out and took it, and said,

'I need it.'

I allowed myself smile, and angled my body to face her more comfortably, then I said,

'Amaka, I might not understand or be able to relate to everything you said, being me now, you know me shey?'

Amaka chuckled in response, and both the sound and the fact that God used me to elicit that joy from an erstwhile weary heart warmed me to my bones.

'However, I'd have you know that this period is tough for even the most extroverted persons.

'Being locked in for this long, despite how many kindred souls you can connect with virtually, is not easy.

'Nothing can truly replace being able to walk out freely and connect physically to what makes your juices flow. I have however, a solution that has worked for me.' I said and could see her eyes light up.

'I noticed you've somehow managed to stay peppy, I wondered and envied if it was one of the perks of being extroverted. What's it?' Amaka asked, squeezing my hands in hers, probably subconsciously.

'I talk with the Holy Spirit.' I said simply and waited for that reaction that I saw on the faces of many Christians, whenever I said that. 

The reaction that screamed,

'Babe, are you kidding me or are you forming spirikoko?'

However, Amaka's  brows furrowed and she blinked several times, then she asked,

'Wait, so, like you pray?'

I smiled and answered,

'Well, technically, yes, but I didn't say that because I knew you'd misunderstand. This is it.'

Amaka's features relaxed and she fixed her gaze on me as I continued,

'I don't go on my knees and join my palms together and begin a formal speech like most people imagine when they hear the word "prayer". I just talk.

'It's like soliloquizing, except that I know He's listening, and He will help make it better. My dear, while that doesn't replace physical human relationships and interaction, nothing beats it!

'You get to unburden your mind, anywhere, anytime, in anyway, and you can be sure that He's always listening and more importantly will help your situation. Believe me you, babe, it's what has been keeping me sane!'

'Wow!' Amaka exclaimed as her face lightened up with the most beautiful smile I'd seen in a while, and all I could think was,

'Omo, this girl is fine ooo.'

She really ought to smile more.

'Can I start anytime?' She asked increasingly elated and giddy.

'Babe! You can start right now! He's been waiting all your life to kick start this phase of your relationship.'

Amaka did not even let me finish. The girl scurried into her room with a big smile on her face while I whispered in my heart with a bigger smile on my own face,

'Wow! Holy Spirit! There you did it again! Another joyful face, another gist partner. Thank you for the gainful employment!'

I looked sideways to see my other housemates staring at me with dropping jaws and widened eyes, and I simply shrugged with open arms in response.

*******************

Hi fam! If you're yet to cultivate the habit of 'just talking', well, there's never a better time to start than now!

Just talk.

Say anything! Unburden your heart! Gist Him, He's listening.

Ask questions, He'll answer.

Make requests, He'll come through.

It's a great time to just talk!

Just_talk

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