A Drunk Driver!

A Drunk Driver!
(Written by Joy A. Adewumi)

Two Wednesdays ago, after what felt like the craziest day of my life,- between unfairly demanding superiors at work, a close shave with a query and Lagos hellish traffic,- I was settling in for the night when my phone dinged.  It was a notification of a new WhatsApp message from my aunt in Alberta, Canada.

I shot upright in bed and with positive anticipation rushing through my vein for the first time that day and opened the message she had for me. It was a voice note.

My aunt's an enigmatic person with a personality that calls, "Come hither." She's quite different from every other older relation in my life and I can't forget the numerous times I'd run to her when I was confused and at crossroads over important life decisions.

She's always had a way of pointing me in the right direction and if there ever was a woman I know in whom the Spirit of God dwells, it's Aunt Abigail.

Dare I forget to mention that she is largely responsible for how far I'd come in my intimacy with God. She's my accountability partner on that note.

As a matter of seriousness, everybody in life needs an Aunt Abigail in their life.

But, I digress. So, back to the issue on ground.

Some months back, I had begun developing doubts about certain issues in my life. My career dreams, my ambitions and goals amongst some other things.

It was as though the harder I pursued these things the more they eluded me and it was frustrating to say the least.

So, when somehow I couldn't seem to concentrate even when praying and my doubts were beginning to seep through the walls of my war room, I knew I had to talk to Aunt Abigail, so I messaged her.

And as I opened her reply and sat back to listen, I felt overwhelmed by a feeling of peace, because I knew somehow, things were about to get better.

Her reply went thus:

"Hi honey!
I got your message and knew it was high time I gave you a hint of my life before "Mrs Abigail Ogundoju, CEO ABG Creations and real estate expert".

You see, as I went through your message, I saw one problem inherent in your plea and in between the lines- fear.

And honey, I have to tell you. Fear is a drunk driver!

About a decade and half ago, sometime between finishing from the NYSC and getting into graduate school, I found I was very indecisive.

However, indecisive or not, I had to move forward. I needed to make progress. In what direction though, I had no idea.

Do I go pursue graduate studies? Do I get a job? Do I start a business? Honestly, honey, I was confused. More confused than I'd ever been, so I decided to pray.

As I prayed, I realised my problem wasn't that I didn't know what to do. As a matter of fact, I did know what do.

My problem was fear. Fear of failure, fear of being laughed at for my decisions, fear of not being able to live up to my long-term fantasies. Fear of what others will say to my dreams.

And my dear, like I said before, fear is a drunk driver. It takes the decisions out of your hands and when it gets on an all-time high, drives you straight to ruination!

When fear drives, though you have a destination in mind but because you'd rather fail or be average at what you do not have a passion for than that which your heart beats for, you tend to avoid pursuing your dreams altogether and settle for a safer choice.

And my dear, safer isn't always better. The only safe place there is, is the center of God's will.

Fear makes you cower away from life and forces you to live your best life only in your fantasies.

Fear makes you settle for less than you're worth.

Fear makes you give up too early when you should be in the heat of the race because you think God will not come through or because you think God might be getting too late.

My dear, from all you've told me so far, I sense fear crowding your mental space and obstructing your vision such that the little bumps and roadblocks that you could easily drive through with determination and fierce faith in God are beginning to look like dead ends.

Doors for which you only need to pray harder and wait more pertinently for keys to open them are looking like barricades as strong and high as The Great Wall.

Dear, the moment God opened my eyes to see that fear was the flimsy curtain standing between me and my dreams, I began to pray hard for grace to shut my eyes to fear and doubt and I forged in the direction of my ambitions with little or no care for what others thought. All I needed was support from the right people and God provided it.

That my dear, is how I became that one aunt who doesn't fit or care to fit the status quo, like you usually say.

Sweetheart, there's only one way I know to counter fear and overcome it.

Get out of that vehicle!

If you perceive the stench of alcohol in your driver's breath or along the journey, wherever you are, you can tell your chauffeur's words are beginning to slur in a way only alcohol can cause.

What do you do?

You demand he stops the car and you get on another that's saner and sober and is headed where you are!

It's the same thing here, hon! Tell fear to its face that God has not given you the spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of sound mind.

His thoughts for you are thoughts of peace and His desires are for you to live your best life not in your fantasies and daydreams but in reality.

Choose to hang on to the conviction you have of God's leading when you began pursuing your career path and when the devil tries to convince you that maybe you're biting more than you can chew, remind yourself and him, that there's nothing like a dream that's too big and you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Anjola, fear makes you forget just who God is and what He is capable of doing.

It influences you to make decisions that are poor and faithless at best.

Study and meditate on God's promises for you because this is how faith, your biggest weapon against fear and the one who should be your driver, is built.

And fix your gaze on Jesus remembering that your steps are ordered by God.

I hope that this reply sets you right back on track Anjola, and I hope you remember that you have my support and prayers always.

God's unfailing peace be with you.''

Then she added a written message afterwards.

"PS: You're yet to send the recipe for that  feast I saw on your status two days ago. I'm waiting ooo."

As I got to the end of Aunt Abigail's letter, I released a sigh and smiled at her light diversion at the end.

All traces of fatigue gone, I knew also as I slid to my knees beside my bed that there was no way I was going another second in the fear's reckless taxi!

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For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
II Timothy 1:7

©Spirit Pen

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