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THE GIST!

THE GIST! Written by Joy A. Adewumi ‘Prisca, come, did you hear the gist?’ I overhead Mimi’s voice from the other side of the door as I let myself into my room where she was visiting with my roommate, Prisca. As I walked in, both heads turned to me and Mimi chirped, ‘ ehn-ehn , it’s even better that you’re here too.’ I gave her a sidelong look that screamed, “what did you hear again?” ‘Welcome,’ Prisca greeted as she laughed at my expression while Mimi twisted her mouth and said, ‘ Ehn , welcome! Sha come and sit down. Apparently neither of you has heard the latest.’ I shook my head at her and replied, ‘Me, I have to pray first, so that the Holy Spirit can guide my contribution to your gist.’ Prisca chuckled again, shaking her head at our exchange. Barely had I sat down with them than Mimi launch into her gist. ‘So, there’s big news about one Senior Pastor at Glory of Heaven Church!’ I groaned as I threw my head back while Prisca got into another laughing fit. ‘So this pastor, Mimi, w

To Cultivate and to Maintain

To Maintain and to Cultivate (Written by Joy A. Adewumi) 'Whatever you get from heaven has to be maintained on earth! When God saves you from the power of sin, you have to deliberately latch unto His grace to stay righteous! When He sanctifies you, you are the one to make conscious efforts to flee from all appearances of evil and stay holy! When He gives you a talent, you have to be intentional about honing that talent into a skill and using it to glorify Him and grow His kingdom. And even when God blesses you with a marriage match made in heaven, you need know that if you don't put conscious effort into making your marriage work, it could still fail! You need to work with whatever God has given you for it to actually glorify Him! Did you catch that?!' Usually, I would have zoned out of the sermon, bad habit, I know, but for some reason, as Pastor Chike, the new Youth Pastor charged on, all my faculties were at alert! Somehow, his words were hitting me on all the righ

Men as Trees...

  Men as Trees... (Written by Joy A. Adewumi) Damaris jolted to her feet as the lady who'd entered the pastor's office some minutes ago came out and shut the door behind her. Finally! After waiting for about an hour and half, it was finally her turn to see the pastor! Were Counselling Tuesdays always like this? As she walked into the office, she was presented with the familiar smiling sight of her pastor. 'Hey! Look at who we have here.' He laughed in his signature robust manner and despite herself and the reasons that had brought her there, she smiled. 'What brings you here, you could have called, you know?' Oh! She knew alright that she could have called, but calling was one thing, getting a hold of him was another entirely. 'I know, but really are Counselling Tuesdays always like this?' 'Right now, I don't know how many there are in the waiting room, but it wouldn't matter even if I asked, because just when I think I'm almost d

The Beam in Your Eyes...

The Beam in Your Eyes... (Written by Joy A. Adewumi) 'Oh my days! Is that- Wait! Are you kidding me right now?' Dad threw his head back, howling in laughter at my reaction as I stuttered at the sight of my cousin. I hadn't seen the bloke in ten years and now, the eight year had grown into a tall, lanky and manly youth. 'Look at you!' I exclaimed as I finally made a coherent statement and opened my arms inviting him in for a hug. Maja laughed at my reaction and swaggered into my arms. The kid smelt of manliness and expensive cologne. Wait! Did this mean I was old? 'When did you grow so... I don't know, manly, I guess?' I asked as we let go of each other and I took in his appearance more carefully. The ripped jeans, the tinted hair, the studded ear, and wait! Were those pink lips? Lip gloss?! I didn't know whether to cringe or laugh. What on earth?! Well, he did grow up alright! 'Couz! A decade is a long time you know. Long enough to gro

Even in Murky Waters...

  Even in Murky Waters... (Written by Joy A. Adewumi) I looked up from my meal as Christy opened her mouth and closed it again. That was the fourth time in five minutes and it was doing me in. I took a sip of my drink and dropped my spoon. 'What's wrong now? We only have forty-five minutes for lunch. So I think you should stop bidding your time and say whatever you have to say already.' It was our lunch break from work and Christy and I had rushed down to the midscale eatery three blocks away from the office to replenish our energy. However, the moment she told me she wasn't hungry and wouldn't be ordering anything, I knew there was an actual fire on the mountain. Christy was a foodie and I'd never in our three years of working together heard her say she was not hungry at lunchtime. She released a sigh and leaned back on the restaurant chair. Rubbing both palms down her face, she looked heavenward and replied, 'That's the problem exactly. I don

Have You Found Honey?

  Have You Found Honey? (Written by Joy A. Adewumi) 'See Itohan, abeg don't start with me this afternoon. I don't have time for your palava, biko.' Ruth hissed wagging her forefinger at Itohan while the latter simply shook her head like she would at a petulant child. 'My dear, the devil has purposed to sift you like wheat but like the Saviour, I am praying for you. You can't be a Christian and be watching all these Hollywood, Bollywood or Korean series. They are from the pit of hell! I've warned you times without number!' Itohan repeated the same thing she had been singing for the past five minutes to a now exasperated Ruth. Ruth turned to me, her eyes begging for help. I on the other hand was simply trying hard not to laugh at the old drama that was never stale unfolding before my eyes. Click here to buy Lekki Sisi I had determined a long time ago not to get myself involved in petty arguments like this one between my roommates. So, whenever they s

Don't Pull the Plug!

Don't Pull the Plug! (Written by Joy A. Adewumi) 'I'm done here! I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm not cut out for this, really.' Ifeoma lamented as we sat on the carpeted floor in our room, facing each other, trying to cram as much of those pharmacy laws as possible as we prepared for PCA401 that was to hold the next day. She raised a palm to her forehead and rubbed what must be a throbbing spot. My heart went out to her. Every student feels pressured and exhausted during exams, but somehow Ify had it worse. Each single semester she was usually like this and I just kept encouraging her and praying with her as we both helped each other pull through the exams. This time however had been especially hard on her. She was always rubbing at her head and complaining of a terrible ache and I honestly wished the exams would come and go and be over with. I sighed and watched as she stretched her body out on the floor. 'It's our penultimate year already